Wednesday, January 9, 2008
then i realize that it's ok for me not to be ok right now. that Jesus knows what i am feeling. that He is weeping with me. that He calls me to lift up my eyes and fix my gaze one Him. i realize that my pain may be very real, but that by the Lord's amazing grace it won't always be like this and that in light of eternity, this is just a blip, a valley that has an end. the enemy has already lost. my pain pales in comparison to so many peoples in this world. Father open my eyes to the pain in the world. let me respond with an open, warm heart. let me respond with love.
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yesterday I was rereading some old stuff I wrote from the summer before I started the internship...and though you posted this awhile ago, I thought I'd share anyhow:
"I learned today that it's ok to feel hurt by something… At least you're feeling at all… And it's actually ok to be sensitive as a result of feeling hurt…an acknowledgment of reality for oneself. And it's ok not to find something or someone on which to place the blame—quite a revelation…which, upon being realized…stillness. Stillness in knowing I have the freedom to choose to acknowledge the beauty in suffering…and to realize that the deepest suffering is born through deepest love and life and living, all things of great value. Therefore, our sufferings are merely reflections of things that have great value…such as our hearts. And upon the quiet and merciful invitation to let go, I find myself ushered into the secret place of the Most High…under the shadow of the Almighty. There I feel very small and very safe."
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