there's beauty in the breakdown...

time for me to breakdown

I saw what I saw

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it I heard what I heard and I can't go back I know what I know and I can't deny it Something on the road, cut me to the soul Your pain has changed me your dream inspires your face a memory your hope a fire your courage asks me what I'm afraid of (what I am made of) and what I know of love we've done what we've done and we can't erase it we are what we are and it's more than enough we have what we have but it's no substitution Something on the road, touched my very soul I say what I say with no hesitation I have what I have and I'm giving it up I do what I do with deep conviction Something on the road, changed my world -Sara Groves

I did not take this photos. but my heart longs to, someday, take my own pictures of beautiful people like these. to be able to give them a voice in this world. to somehow be able to make a difference using photography. It has been way too long since i have gotten my camera out just to shoot. I miss how alive i feel when i am capturing moments in time. moments that matter. i miss how i feel when i feel like i am doing the very thing that God created me to do. there is so much beauty out there. so much to experience. think about. all the things that we can experience in this life. i want to feel life deeply. i want to dig in and not hold back. being a good photographer requires that, but it also requires knowing when to wait and be patient. Ansel Adams would wait sometimes all day to get the perfect shot. How much does this mentality translate into our walks with the Lord. We must give it our all. We must give him our all. Along with that we must be patient and wait for Him. I will wait on the Lord. My soul waits. what does it look like to be living full out for Him and waiting for Him all at the same time? How my heart longs to be overseas.

i get lost in the music. it carries me further away with every note, with every beat. i get lost in the melodic sounds. what is it about sigur ros that takes me to this other place. i want to completely surround myself with these sounds. i wish we could taste sound. i wish it had color to it. it's like i almost implode on myself. i picture myself floating through my own body. swimming in my own blood stream. floating on my back navigating the twists and turns of blood vessels and artery's. being pumped through organs, carrying life to every part of my body. this music take me to somewhere incredibly peaceful, like a deserted island, a dense forest or a safe friends living room. i am feeling creative and i want to paint.